Getting a divorce can be very isolating and lonely. Not only are you loosing someone who you thought would be your lifelong partner, but your entire social group may change as well. Friends who you made as a couple may choose sides or keep their distance because they are unsure how to be close with you now that you aren’t with your ex. Children may be uprooted which means you may be home alone more than your would like.
While all these situations are common for divorced people, it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. As humans we are hard wired to be social and going through something like a divorce can completely shift the paradigm of your social life. Here are some ways you can find support through this difficult time and start to build a new social life for yourself that does not involve your ex.
Join a support group
This is often a difficult step for people to take because it involves being very vulnerable. However, finding a divorce support group can be a great way to meet people and get support at the same time. Nothing fosters connection like shared experience and that is exactly what support groups are meant for. The site meetup.com is a great place to find divorce support groups in your area.
You can find all sorts of information and support about divorce online. In fact, there are whole communities built on the internet specifically to support people going through divorce. Start by checking out groups on Facebook. There are support groups specifically for divorced women, men as well as faith-based groups aimed at helping people reconcile their religious beliefs with the realities of divorce. If you don’t want to join a support group right away commenting on blog posts or YouTube videos about divorce can also help you feel like you are part of a community. There is a plethora of opportunities to connect online, you just have to take the time and look.
Take up a new hobby
Making connections with people doesn’t have to be all about divorce. Taking a class or picking up a new hobby help introduce you to a whole new social group. Sometimes talking about something other than your divorce is a great way to help you move on and create a new normal for yourself. Take this opportunity to pick up something you have always wanted to try. You will not only learn a new skill, but you might also make a new friend or two in the process.
It is OK if all this seems overwhelming and scary. Putting yourself out there, especially after something as potentially emotionally damaging as a divorce. Take a deep breath and do one thing you know will help you make a new connection. I promise you won’t regret it.