If you are going through a divorce during the holidays it may be difficult to tap into the usual spirit of the season.
Your divorce has probably left you exhausted and with little energy for the usual chaos that comes with the holidays. If you are trying to juggle kids with your ex it may even be crazier than usual.
Here are a few tips that will help get you through the holidays during this difficult time.
The holidays can be difficult with so many priorities and commitments to juggle. Divorce is an exhausting process and it may leave you with even less energy than usual for all that comes with the season.
Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to say no. Maybe you don’t make four dozen cookies this year for your church’s bake sale, or you bail on one of your holiday parties. If you have children you want to make sure you have time and energy for them during the holidays. Everything else is negotiable.
Make time for yourself
The holidays are often a time where you have to be everything to everyone, especially if you are a parent. Carve out some time to do some of the things that you want to do. What helps you to recharge?
Maybe it’s watching your favourite holiday movie or visiting a friend you haven’t seen on a while. Maybe it’s forgetting all about the holidays for a few hours and taking a nice long bubble bath. Whatever helps you relax and recharge so that you can handle the holiday season with a full battery pack.
Create new memories
This one is important. If it is your first Christmas without your ex, there will probably be some traditions that you will be missing.
Instead of feeling bad about it consider trying something new to create new memories and traditions with your friends and family. Check you this blog post for some ideas of new traditions to incorporate into your life that will help you move forward in a fun and positive way.
Remember, it’s not all about stuff
Divorce can be a costly process and if you are now surviving on a single income there may not be a lot of spare cash to throw around.
While the holiday season often tends to center around giving, remember that there is more to it than that. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to show you care.
Making time for you children, family and friends over the holidays is probably the best gift you can give them. If you feel you need to give them something consider baking your favourite Christmas cookies and dressing them up in festive packaging. This is something you can get your children involved with. And Voila! Holiday gifts and new memories all in one!
Take a deep breath
Let’s face it. Holidays are stressful at the best of times.This is especially important if your ex is being difficult about things like sharing the kids over the holidays season. Be flexible. If your ex won’t let go of having the kids on Christmas Day consider having your celebration on Boxing Day or even before Christmas. Fighting over the kids will just make things more stressful for you and them.
Need someone to talk to help you through this holiday season? Check out our list of qualified therapists and coaches on our directory.